Dear Maria Count Me In // All Time Low
So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that
i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying
"oh no my potato"
Ash is me in every situation
my anaconda don’t want none
unless you got puns hun
you didn’t even like his page how do you expect him to like your selfie
like ten years ago i drew a comic strip entitled “if the president were a moth” in which the president is a human sized moth watching the olympics and when they light the torch it flies off in pursuit of it and then two cia guys stand up and shout “MR. PRESIDENT!!!!!!!” i was really ahead of my time
it is year 2027. game of thrones looks to be finally over. all of your favorite characters are dead. but wait. a tiny boat rows ashore. it’s gendry. it’s gendry waters. he’s returned
I HAVE SWEATER ON IM TOO HOT I TAKE SWEATER OFF IM TOO COLD FUCK THIS BULLSHIT WORLD
I COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS TO MY MOM AND SHE TOLD ME TO PUT ON THE SHRUG MY AUNT KNITTED ME ONE PROBLEM THE SHRUG MY AUNT KNITTED ME IS BULLSHIT
LOOK AT THIS
FUCKING LOOK AT THIS
THERE IS NO HEAD HOLE
WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS
im still going to be laughing about this the next time i see you
NO DON’T BRING THIS BAKC
Legalizing weed. Free birth control. Same sex marriage. When did Colorado become one of the most modern state in america?
i went to high school with this girl named kelsey and she married a guy she met while studying abroad in portugal and her facebook statuses are my favorite thing in the world.
THAT’S MY SISTER!
Also you forgot the best one
"What ever is keeping the boat floating."
"You mean ‘what ever floats your boat’?"
"Yea, that too."
HER SISTER FOUND THE POST AND NOW I FEEL KIND OF CREEPY I HOPE YOU’RE ALL SATISFIED
My sister was just like “pretty little liars? Why not ugly tall honest people?” And like two minutes later she shouted Abraham Lincoln